Hogwarts School of Detectives
by Pyroluminescence
Summary: A piece of crap I wrote when I was 11. Kept up simply to show that people WILL read anything... Harry Potter and Yu Yu Hakusho crossover.
1. Letters and Magical Schools

                      Hogwarts School of 

                Detectives

           **Warnings: **AU, HP/YYH crossover, some kissing. May be a bit OOC. More to come after I finish the 2nd part.

           **Rating:** PG13

           **Description:** After discovering demons can perform magic, Dumbledore sends Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke Hogwarts letters. However, the Spirit Detectives must: Get wizard money, get the proper supplies, keep Hiei's falcon from killing everyone, survive Malfoy's

obnoxiousness, save Yukina, kick Voldemort's butt, and put up with the weirdness of being in a magical school. And believe me, I left out a lot.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Harry Potter, blahblahblah…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**"**What the-what in the heck…." Yusuke sputtered. An owl had just crashed into his bedroom window. Yusuke shook his head and ignored it. It proceeded to peck and hoot and do everything an owl can do to annoy someone. Tired of the racket, Yusuke opened the window and the owl came in. It landed on Yusuke's desk and held out its leg. Yusuke looked at the strange envelopes

tied to its leg.

                                   _          Yusuke Urameshi_

_123 Payne St. Apartment 1__Tokyo__, __Japan___

_                                   East Bedroom, Lazy Boy recliner_

Yusuke found it extremely odd that an owl was giving him a letter, to his precise location, at 12:00 midnight. "Aw, what the heck," Yusuke said. "I hope it's not junk mail!" He expected the owl to attack him when he took the letters, but it just stood there like this was the most common, boring, and pointless task it had to fulfill. The owl took off, leaving Yusuke to his thoughts. The cocky boy shrugged and opened the first letter.

                                                     HOGWARTS SCHOOL

                                           _ofWITCHCRAFT __and WIZARDRY_

                                             Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

                                  (_Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc.,__ Chf._ Warlock,__

_                                    Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

Dear Mr. Urameshi, 

                           We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted

                        at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find

                        enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term

                         begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than

                         July 31.

                         Yours sincerely,

                         Minerva McGonagall,

                          _Deputy Headmistress_

"What!? What's that supposed to mean? Is this a joke?" Yusuke read the letter about 40 times to make sure he had read correctly.

"I see you've got the letter as well."

"KURAMA! What are you doing here?" Yusuke asked, slightly surprised.

"Hiei and I both had owls deliver the same letter." Kurama said calmly.

"Well, where's Hiei?"

"I'm over here you baka." Hiei said from the tree outside Yusuke's bedroom window.

"Yusuke," Kurama said, disparate to change the subject before it started. "Do you believe them?"

"I dunno." 

"Well, it appears you won't have teachers try to expel you all year, you'll be learning, well…"

"Maybe it's junk mail." Yusuke said, highly doubting that wizardry was real.

"It's real Yusuke, just read the other letter." Kurama said.

 Yusuke tore open the other envelope and read the letter, or at least tried, it was hard to read with a humanized fox demon reading over his shoulder.

                                      _Yusuke, we know this may be hard to believe, but you will, indeed become a first year student at Hogwarts. Many witches and wizards will be going there, not including you. We know that you are part demon and the school has discovered that demons can do magic, and no, it's not fake. Only witches, wizards, and demons are permitted to go. You must not inform anyone but your mother that you will be going. Most students start their 1st year at the age of eleven, however, because we have only just discovered that demons are capable of performing magic, you, Hiei and Kurama will be the first teenaged first year students at our school, which is millenniums old. Please send an owl addressed to the Ministry of Magic by July 31st, and no, you will address the letter to the Ministry, not the owl. Please say, in the letter that you accept. We look forward to seeing you._

                                        Albus Dumbledore

                                                     Headmaster

"Well, now what?" Yusuke asked.

"He told us to send our letters of acceptance, but I doubt we can get an owl." Hiei said, with a "Hn" 

"The owl that delivered my letter is still at my house." Kurama said, unable to not find a solution.

"How do you know where I live anyway?" Yusuke asked Kurama.

"The phonebook."

"Will you two shut up so we can get going?"  Hiei asked impatiently.

"Yeah, whatever," Yusuke said. "But first I'll go tell my mom I'm going to a weird school to learn magic tricks."

~In Kitchen~

"You mean you are going to go away, for the year?" Atsuko asked.

"Yeah mom, in England somewhere." 

"Oh, I won't see you every day, knowing how far away that is."

"Glad you accept, now sign the letter." Yusuke ordered.

                                                           ~At Kurama's House~

      "Well, that'll be it." Yusuke said as he finished tying his letter on to the owl's leg.

             "I hope they write back soon." Kurama said.

             "'Night." Hiei said as he went off to find a tree to sleep in.

            "G-night." Yusuke called after Hiei.

            "See ya!" Kurama called out as well.

            "Bye Kurama." Yusuke said to Kurama.

            "Bye." Kurama said, waving at the running Yusuke.

            Kurama got undressed and went straight to bed, dreading the talk his mother promised 

him in the morning. _It's already _1:00___ in the morning, Kurama thought. He fell asleep the second he got into bed._

Yusuke however, was not a 400 year old demon that is used to these things happening, and could not sleep. Every time he fell asleep he dreamed of green witches with pickle-like noses and old wizards in pointy hats. He could not help but wonder what the other students really looked like.

Hiei was worried about the embarrassment involved. What if he couldn't even cast a spell? What if boys and girls slept in the same room? He overheard Yusuke telling Kurama that they had to ride unicorns to school. Hiei highly doubted that this was true.

~At Yusuke's House~

"Yusuke you bonehead! Wake up…NOW!"

"Relax Hiei; he'll wake up within the next 40 years." Atsuko said, half-joking.

"Fine and I'll be back." Hiei said threateningly. 

~At Kurama's house~

Kurama awoke light headed, but could remember clearly what had happened last night, and sadly, so did his mother. He glanced at the clock. 8:34. He went back to sleep. His mother walked in around ten, and for the first time in her life, she was angry with Suuichi. But then she saw her son's sleeping form, looking so peaceful, and exhausted. She shook her head, it was impossible to stay mad at him, and she knew he had a good enough excuse being awake at such hours. She walked out quietly, and put the owl's letter on his bookcase.

~Back at Yusuke's house~

"He's awake." Atsuko said, barely glancing at Hiei.

"Hn."

*10 minutes later*

"Yeah, whatever, Kurama's place." Yusuke said sleepily.

"Good, I'll meet the dumbest Spirit Detective there." Hiei said running before Atsuko blamed him for the destruction of her house. (If you call that dump a house, or apartment or whatever)

~Back at Kurama's house~

Kurama finished in the bathroom and went downstairs to, leftover breakfast.

"Suuichi! Why didn't you tell, me, or should I say, ex Yoko Kurama?" 

"Mother, I'm sorry, I just didn't know how you would take it. One mother committed suicide when she found out her son took drugs, and I didn't want to see what you would do if you found out that I had murdered your child, taken over his body, and become an almost perfect physical and mental Suuichi…" Kurama had tears in his eyes now, now that he was human, he had emotions.

"Tell, me Kurama, how old was Suuichi at that time?"

"I was born as Suuichi, and don't call me Kurama. I was not born a demon, but created. But you gave birth to me, and my birth name is Suuichi. Only my allies call me Kurama." 

"Suuichi…" Now he had his mother crying. 

Kurama felt like he would throw up. He knew it was time to tell his mother the truth.

"Mother, I need to confess something, if you'll let me." Kurama said, looking down at the tiled kitchen floor.

His mother nodded.

"Mother, when I went away for a week or so, I helped Hiei and the other baka steal 3 artifacts. The one I stole was called the 'Forlorn Hope,' and on the full moon, it can unlock the deepest, darkest desire of your heart, in exchange for a life, preferably the wish maker's. I deceived them and used the Forlorn Hope to cure you of your illness. But Yusuke offered to give his life instead of mine, so you wouldn't be depressed. I don't know what happened, if the mirror took part of both our lives, or it felt sympathy, or it was touched by Yusuke's heroism, or perhaps it just didn't take life at all, but we both survived."

Shiori looked shocked, did her demon son really care about her that much, or did he have some of Suuichi's character traits? To know the answer, she had to ask him one more question.

"Can the artifact grant only the deepest darkest desire of the user's heart, and only that?"

"Yes Mother, I wasn't lying when I practically said that having a living mother who wasn't sick was the deepest darkest desire of my heart. But I didn't do it for my own personal gain; I was going to give my life for yours, Mother."

_Mother._ She was not a slave, but a mother to this 15 year-old boy of whom, just last night, she feared he would destroy humanity. But his soul purpose was the exact opposite.

She smiled her motherly smile and said to Suuichi, "Well, I can't have you eating leftovers, it's not your fault you had to sleep in." She walked over to the refrigerator to get some eggs and bacon, leaving a stunned Kurama behind. _I hate how she does that. Kurama thought, but with no anger whatsoever. _

_Rap rap rap rap rap, rap rap._ Shiori answered the door to see Hiei and Yusuke.

"Where's K- Suuichi?" Hiei asked, rubbing his side where Yusuke had just elbowed him.

"You mean Kurama? He said he wanted his allies to call him by his demon name. Anyway he's eating breakfast."

Hiei and Yusuke had the same stunned expressions that Kurama had only minutes ago.

_I hate how she does that_. Hiei and Yusuke both thought as they stepped through the door.

"Suuichi, I think your friends are ready to talk with you." Kurama's mother said as she pointed out the couch to Hiei and Yusuke. 

"Alright, I just need to finish my eggs." Came the reply.

"Okay." Shiori said then whispered to Hiei and Yusuke. "_He's a very slow eater._"

Kurama went into the lounge to feed Vikkie, the tarantula. 

"You know, little boys shouldn't be playing with big, hairy spiders."

(AN)As we all know, there are in reality, 3 ways to sudden death. (1 Make Kurama angry (2 Insult Kurama's cooking (3 Insult or try to harm his mother. You have absolutely no chance of living if your actions apply to #2. Let's just say, you won't want any roses planted on your grave. Anyway, by insulting him, Hiei has made Kurama angry, just pray for Hiei's life.

"HOW DARE YOU! MY MOTHER GOT ME THAY 'BIG HAIRY SPIDER! I'LL GIVE YOU 2 CHOICES, EITHER APOLOGIZE, OR WE'LL FIND OUT IF MY ROSE WHIP CAN CUT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!"

"Suuichi, do you have to be so loud when you get angry?" 

"YES!"

"OK, geez I'm sorry, hn. Just uninherit your mother's mood swings."

"Fine, apology accepted." Kurama said quite calmly.

_I hate how he does that_, Hiei thought.

"Well, we'd better go upstairs and see what Kurama's letter says." Yusuke said. Even after Kurama's tantrum he was dying of boredom. 

                                      ~In Kurama's room~

"So, did you get these letters as well?" Kurama said, running his fingers over the smooth surface of the envelope.

"No, just a note that said something about you having the Ministry's reply." Yusuke told Kurama.

"Well, are you waiting for it to open its mouth and tell us about the contents? OPEN IT!"

Kurama tore the envelope and read the letter.

                                _                       Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama,_

_You should have found a list of items that you will need enclosed in the envelope containing your Hogwarts letter. You will find them at a place called Diagon Alley. Mrs. Weasley will meet you inside of the ladies' bathroom at __London__International__Airport__ on 8/12. She will direct you to Diagon Alley. You should have enough money donated by the Ministry of Magic to purchase the things you need. We are looking forward to seeing you at Hogwarts.     Cornelius Fudge_

"Who's Cornelius Fudge?" Yusuke asked.

"I don't know, but we're going to have to wait 18 days just to meet a stranger in the womens' bathroom. How impolite."

"I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm, Hiei." Kurama warned.

"Hey Kurama, is it OK if I sleepover? My mother said if she sees me at breakfast she give me a very short haircut if you know what I mean."

"Of course, my mother defiantly won't allow starvation." Kurama replied, going downstairs to inform his mother.

They spent the whole day at the arcade, excluding Hiei, who went off to see a movie rated NC 17 for MAJOR blood and gore. It was late when they got back.

"So Hiei, will you be staying in the pine tree by the garbage can again?" Yusuke asked.

"Yes, I'd rather sleep with Kurama's trash than in a bed. Hn. They itch, they're too warm, and you can't sleep in the perfect position." Hiei answered.

"OK, I call Kurama's bed."

"Aww, come on Yusuke, you always leave me with the guest bedroom." Kurama complained.

"Oh well, 'night Hiei, Kurama."

"'Night."

"Fine, but next time you get the guest bed." Kurama said, waving over his shoulder.

Yusuke stared up at Kurama's ceiling. _18 days_. What was he supposed to do for 18 days? Well, he could spar with Hiei, Kurama, Jin, and Touya. Or he could try to impress Keiko. He knew Keiko really liked him; he just had to break the ice. He blushed deeply thinking about what sort of things could go wrong. Then he thought about dating Keiko. That made him turn a shade of deep scarlet. 

He looked at the surrounding room. On the left side, a comfortable armchair, a stand with a PS2 and a PS2 screen, and a desk stretched to the end of the room that Kurama's bed took up. 

But above the bed, were a couple DBZ posters and a poster of some model in a bikini that Alan, Kurama's girl-crazy friend had gotten him for his 14th birthday a year ago. 

On the right side of his room, Kurama had a dresser, a large chest which contained his training and fighting uniforms as well as the death plant seeds, and a closet in the middle. Yusuke knew Kurama kept the key in a jewelry case in the chairs' cushion. 

On the side opposite of where Yusuke was, was the door, the light switch, and two rose plants in the corners. Yusuke looked at the poster of a sumo-wrestler on the right side. Then at a small picture in a gold frame. 

He saw Kurama, in his regular school uniform, holding the two rabbits. To the left, was his stepfather, with his hand on Mrs., Minamino's shoulder. He was wearing a blue business uniform, and his glasses. Kurama's mother had her arm around her son's neck. She was wearing a silk, light pink dress. There were many other photos and posters in Kurama's room. On the foot end of Kurama's bed was a window, and another one by the right rosebush on the right side of the room. The curtains were a dark lavender blue. 

On his desk, Yusuke noticed another frame. He went over to look at it. It was a picture of Kurama's human father holding the young demon. His father had reddish-brown hair. He was killed by one of Yoko's betrayed followers. Yusuke looked at the jar, which was full of water bears in suspended animation, floating around in radioactive gunk. He also had a microscope and other sciency stuff. Yusuke wondered how anyone can find studying for tests so wonderful. Kurama, like most other students at his school, had kept his water bears and continued to experiment with the microscopic creatures. Kurama must really like being the star student at whatever school he goes to. Yusuke shook his head and looked at the office stuff on Kurama's desk. For crying out loud the weird demon even did homework. Yusuke found science supplies a lot more interesting than homework supplies. He shrugged and went to bed. 

(AN) That was the longest paragraph I have ever written in my life, and I write very short paragraphs.

~At tree above Minaminos' trash~

Hiei was uncomfortable for some reason. It was pouring out, and the tree was Hiei's only shelter. He was extremely cold as well. He put his cloak on, hoping it would warm him even the slightest bit. But once soaked, the cloak was of no use to him.  He went inside Kurama's house and took his wet clothes off. He went to the ex-guest bedroom that had been made his room for when it was too cold out, or just a place to hang out. He climbed on top of the 10 foot artificial tree branch, and continued to go around to every branch extending off of it, until he found a nice place to sleep. 

Kurama could smell Hiei. He had been awake for a very long time. He was cold himself, and got more bedding. He knew Hiei had forgotten one thing. He really did not want to leave the comfort of the bed, but he must if he, Yusuke, or his mother expected to have pleasant images in their heads when they awoke.

Kurama slapped a hand over his eyes. "Hiei?" He called into the darkness of the room.

"What?" Hiei called back.

"Did you forget to put clothes on?"

"*groan* I was hoping you wouldn't remind me."

"Well, you'd better. It's not modest to be running around naked."

"You think I don't know that?"

"No, I know you know now at least put on some underwear!" Kurama said impatiently.

"I don't understand you humans." Hiei said, in a surrendering tone of voice.

"In a human form, I have the modesty of a human and even as Yoko I wouldn't hang around nude."

"Fine whatever." Hiei said, looking around his room for clean clothing. 

Relieved, Kurama went back to bed.

Oddly enough, Yusuke was the first one up. He hung around until Kurama woke Hiei up and made breakfast. Kurama's mother came down wearing the same dress Yusuke saw her wearing in the photo. After breakfast, Hiei took off, saying he had to go meet someone. Yusuke and Kurama went to a movie with Keiko, were Kurama got yet another poster to put in his room.

Hiei came back. Yusuke wanted to go to Keiko's place, to try and break the ice. Reluctantly, Hiei and Kurama followed. 

~At Keiko's House~

"I guess she's not here." Kurama said.

"Oh, brilliant deduction Mr. Smarty Pants." Yusuke said sarcastically. Then he saw Keiko's diary. He started to read it.

_I went to Yusuke's house, but he was asleep. I couldn't help but look at his handsome face. He's just so beautiful. I remember the first time I kissed him, it felt good. I'm so deeply in love with him, but I'm just too scared to tell him. I know he feels the same. I kissed him again while I was there. Someday, I hope he does the same. I don't get why other girls don't see how handsome he is, but that just means no competition. I want him to be my boyfriend, I want him to go to proms with me, and I want us to marry. I kissed him several times blissfully before leaving the house. _

Hiei and Kurama, who were reading behind him, burst out laughing. Yusuke was blushing extremely hard. Then…

**"Yusuke!"**

Keiko was looking at the page Yusuke was reading, and turned bright red.

"Sorry Keiko." Yusuke said sympathetically. 

"Oh you'll be sorry!" Keiko said tackling Yusuke to the ground.

"Keiko! Quit it! OW!"

Yusuke stood up covered in bruises. He probably just ruined his chance to break the ice.

"Hiei, Kurama, OUT! Me and Keiko need to talk."

Hiei and Kurama left, but Kurama kept an ear on their conversation.

~In Hallway~

"What are they saying?" Hiei asked out of curiosity. 

"Believe me, you don't want to know."

Finally, Yusuke came out. He was blushing, and it looked as if he had broken the ice.

"Guess what? Keiko is taking me to the dance, and she said she would like to go on a date with me!" Yusuke told the two demons.

"Did you kiss?" Kurama asked. (AN) OK, I admit, I got that quote from the 5th Harry Potter book) 

Yusuke nodded, his face looked like Kurama's hair!

Hiei and Kurama burst out laughing. Yusuke was blinded by rage and went up and slapped them.

                                                        17 days later…

"OK, but I'll miss you." Keiko said.

"Don't worry Keiko, I'll be back at, well, I don't know."

Yusuke and Keiko made out for about 30 seconds, while Kurama looks away. Hiei takes notes when no one is watching him.

Yusuke is forced to step in to the ladies bathroom first, then Kurama. Hiei enters last. 

Yusuke sat with his two friends for 15 minutes, finding it odd that no one was entering the bathroom. Finally, a middle aged woman with red curly hair came into the bathroom, saying, "Sorry I'm late, I'm Mrs. Weasley."

"Hiei."

"I'm Kurama."

"Yusuke."

"Good, now did you bring your lists?"

"Duh."

"Yes."

"Yup."

"Good, good. I'm going to take you to Diagon Alley. I trust you could all go yourselves, but only witches and wizards know the taps."

"Huh?" Yusuke asked, stunned.

"You have to tap right the bricks of course."

They were at the brick wall, and Mrs. Weasley was tapping the bricks with what appeared to be a wand. The bricks spun away, and then repaired as they walked through.

They went into what looked like an over-crowded shopping mall. People everywhere were heading in and out of places with young sorcerers getting Hogwarts supplies. 

"Alright, now we need to get you money."

"Where?" Hiei asked.

"At Gringotts, the wizard bank." Mrs. Weasley answered.

They went through the mob to a large stone building. As soon as they got passed the second set of doors, tons of little troll people were seen running around, each working at or with something.

"What are those things?" Kurama asked politely, trying to act like this was perfectly normal, but not completely masking his fear.

   

"They're goblins, they work here." Mrs. Weasley said a wide smile on her face. "Come on now, right this way."

She led them to a desk with another goblin.

"Hello, were here to make a withdrawal for Hiei, Suuichi/Kurama Minamino, and Yusuke Urameshi."

"Ah, yes, key." Hiei and Yusuke exchanged confused looks.

Mrs. Weasley produced a key, and handed it to the goblin.

"Alright, I'll send you down with Chewey." The desk goblin said, pointing to a goblin.

Chewey led them down to a kart, when they stepped in; it went speeding down at around 180 miles per hour. The 3 demons were screaming bloody murder. (AN) I would too. K)

They came to a halt, and the dazed Hiei had to recover.   
  
Chewey came to one of many thousands of safes, and turned unlocked it. It opened to revel tons of gold, silver, and bronze coins.

"Well, this is your vault, take as much as you'd like." Mrs. Weasley said to Yusuke. Yusuke loaded up on the coins, then they went to another vault.

"Hiei and Kurama's vaults are high security. Because the many things they have stolen in their demon years are inside them." Chewey explained.

They came to another vault on the magic cart. This time, Chewey, slid a long finger across the door. It opened, reveling many sparkling items as well as the coins. Kurama knew this was his vault and took many coins, as Yusuke had.

 Chewey then was about to slide his finger across another door, but Hiei pushed him out of the way and did it himself. 

Immediately, Hiei got sucked in. Chewey got him out, while Kurama and Yusuke laughed for 5 minutes.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you." Hiei threatened as Chewey opened the vault.

The 3 demons have already gotten their robes, pointed hats, gloves, and books. Kurama was now testing wands. Mr. Ollivander gave him a nine and a half inch long wand, made of oak, containing phoenix feathers. Kurama swished it, and the windows blew out.

Mr. Ollivander shook his head and got another wand.

"Ash and dragon heartstring. Eight inches."

Kurama tried, and a shelve of wands came crashing down.

"Ah, yes. Maple and phoenix feather. One of my earlier customers tried it out. Harry Potter."

"He did!? Which wand did he wind up with? Oh Kurama, you're so lucky! Harry Potter tried that wand." Mrs. Weasley was going crazy.

"Holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches."

"What's so great about this Harry Potter?" Yusuke asked rudely.

"He survived what no one before him has. No brilliant sorcerer has survived the wrath of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But he was a mere baby, with no special abilities, and he survived the ultimate death curse, the _Avada Kedavra." Mr. Ollivander explained as Mrs. Weasley shuddered._

Kurama nodded, and then tried the wand. A mist of silver wind swirled from the tip of the wand.

"Well, you've found your wand, Kurama."

Hiei and Yusuke were easy. Hiei's was mahogany and dragon heartstring, ten and an eighth inches. Yusuke's was birch and dragon heartstring, seven inches.

Now, they had gotten cauldrons, phials, telescopes, and brass scales. Kurama got a cat, named Froth. Hiei got a falcon, finding it a lot better than an owl. It tried to kill anything it saw, including Hiei. Yusuke got a regular owl.

"Well now, that should be it. And Hiei dear, please do try to control that bird. I have to check on my boys; Percy will get you back home." Mrs. Weasley said.

"Who's Percy?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm Percy." A red haired boy said. Hiei's falcon attacked him immediately.

Percy gave them each tickets to platform 9 ¾. When they got back to Kurama's house around 3 o' clock in the morning, Keiko was there, sleeping on the red recliner in Kurama's den. Shiori was awake, and greeted Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke.  Shiori went to bed, while the 3 demons stayed up late playing PS2 and watching scary latenight shows and movies on TV. They had a while before they went to Hogwarts.

~In Living Room~

"Okay, I dare you to do Candyman." Yusuke said, enjoying the game of Truth or Dare.

"Hn. What do I do?" The fire apparition asked.   

"You say 'Candyman' into the mirror 5 times and you're supposed to hear music like an ice cream truck, then an evil laugh. And you're supposed to get cuts all over your arms, and if he doesn't like you, he'll kill you. And he has a hook for a hand and…"

"OK Yusuke, I think you've been watching too many movies. It's not real Hiei. I've done it before. It's just something someone made into a series of movies; it's a waste of a dare." Kurama explained. 

"And he was a black slave killed for getting engaged to a white girl. And he kills those who summon but do not believe in him. And…" Yusuke is cut of short by the pain of Kurama and Hiei hitting him on the head with the set of encyclopedias.

"Ow, OK so don't believe, but if you do Candyman now while you don't believe, he'll kill you with his hook hand."

Hiei goes into the bathroom, says "Candyman" 5 times into the mirror, and nothing happens.

"See, it's fake." Hiei said, coming out of the bathroom.

"You have to do it with the light off and the door closed." Yusuke explained.

Hiei goes into the bathroom and does it correctly, and hears music, and an evil laugh, then, a black man with a hook for a hand appears in the mirror, and swoops out of the mirror and tries to kill Hiei. Hiei quickly turns the lights back on. He screams, and he hears Yusuke and Kurama laughing behind him with an image projector and a sound effects player. Hiei gets his revenge with Bloody Mary, and they do a séance, and tested to see if the house was haunted. (Both of which Hiei didn't participate)  
  


~At Kings Cross~

Mrs. Weasley was guiding the demons through the brick wall, and on to Platform 9 ¾. They boarded the train, and left. Hiei was more than bored. 

~In Train~

A boy with wild, untamed hair, large round glasses, and muggle clothing came up to them.

"Hi," He said, obviously not wanting to attract much attention.

"Hello. I'm Kurama, the one with the gelled hair is Yusuke and the short one with the bandana on his forehead is Hiei."

"Oh hello. I'm Harry Potter."

"Hn. We heard about you. I really don't get why people make such a big fuss over you."

Harry looked relieved. He grinned at them and said, "I'm glad you don't care. Everyone bows down to me in public. One guy kissed my shoes. Being famous isn't that great."

A boy with red hair and 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999 freckles appeared and immediately defended Harry. "I'd like to see you survive the Death Curse. It doesn't just blow things up you know. It literally turns off your life."

Yusuke argued back. "So, he's a wizard."

"He was an inexperienced 1-year-old for your information." Ron argued back.

"Ok, break it up. I really don't want to be the cause of another argument." Harry said to Hiei and Ron, who were giving each other death glares. 

A lady with a trolley of food came by. Yusuke spent 1/8 of his galleons on food, and they were pigging out, causing a couple of nearby second years to turn up their noses.

"Well, we'd better change." Ron said after a while. Then, he turned to the annoying smarty-pants girl named Hermione and told he to get out. She apologized and left as Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama, Ron, Harry, and some other people got changed. 

~At Hogwarts~

The train stopped, and a huge man with a strange accent called all of the first year students over to a huge lake, and they did a traditional boating across the lake. It was terribly cold, and they didn't see what the point of crossing the lake was. Harry told them that the large man was Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and grounds at Hogwarts. A castle came into sight, and they went underground, and stopped at an underground harbor, went up a stone passageway, and to the oak doors of the castle. Hagrid knocked 3 times and the door swung open, and a witch was standing there. Professor McGonagall. They walked along a hallway lit by flaming torches, and came into a chamber. 

"I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." Professor McGonagall walked off. 

Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke were the only ones who weren't concerned about what would happen next. A million ghosts popped out of nowhere, scaring the pants off of everyone. 

When they did go into the Great Hall, it was beautiful. Millions of candles were floating in midair. There was a night sky for a ceiling, which Hermione said was bewitched.

On top of a four legged stool, was a filthy hat. It burst into song. It bowed to the four tables that McGonagall told them were the house tables that they would be sorted into. 

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." Professor McGonagall explained.

After a long time…..  

"Jaganshi, Hiei." 

The Sorting Hat rested on his head for 30 seconds, and then yelled "SLYTHERIN!" Hiei joined the Slytherin table, as they cheered uncontrollably.

After 2 more students, Kurama sat on the stool and Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting hat on his head. It had barely touched a hair on his head, when it yelled, "RAVENCLAW!" Kurama joined the Ravenclaws. 

Directly after Kurama, Yusuke was sorted into Gryffindor. As he was about to stand up, a certain tall Gryffindor stood up. "URAMESHI! FOX BOY! SHRIMPY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" 

Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke turned so fast they cricked their necks. "KUWABARA! WHAT ARE _YOU DOING HERE?"_

"I'm a wizard!" He said proudly. "And since this is my FOURTH year, so I know more magic than you!" 

Yusuke ran over to Kuwabara with speed that could rival Hiei and smacked him upside the head.

Hiei ran over to Kuwabara and gave him death threats, while Kurama explained everything about demons and magic. _Well, that explains why I never see him over the school year._ Yusuke thought.

"Please be quiet during the sorting. You may return to your seats or I'll have to give you both detentions." Professor McGonagall scolded. Hiei and Kurama immediately returned to their house tables.

But no one could prepare for what happened next.  

                                                 **End of Part I**

(By the way, Derrick is my dorky friend)

Cat: So, did I leave you hanging? You want more?

Derrick: Aww, come on, it has to be a cliffhanger. You're evil.

Jin: IknowwhathappensnextT-

Cat: *Whacks Jin with the evil frying pan of doom* Well, it may take a bit, but the next part will be even better. Especially if Jin can keep his big mouth shut.

Jin: *Rubbing his aching head* You'reevenworsethanthatUrameshikid. YouwatchtoomuchFredandTommy.

Cat: *Whacks Jin again* It's Tom and Jerry.

Derrick: You watch that!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

Cat: *Slaps Derrick* 

Jin: Updatesoon! Myearsareallpointyandwigglin', see, Inevergetthisexcitedinbattle. 

Derrick:*Afraid to open his fat mouth*

Cat: I'll update. TOUYA! *Yells at Touya for the frozen kitchen*

Derrick: She'll never get a counselor who can have a meeting with out pulling out their hair.

Cat: *Attacks Derrick* DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jin: Herewegoagain!"

Touya: *Is hiding in the pantry* Help me! 

Note: Fic may not be updated for a while, but review your hearts out! I'm REALLY sorry it was so long. The other chapters will be a lot shorter. I can't figure out the HTML thing, but please do try and explain it better. I upload all of my documents with .doc, and I can't get it to do anything different. The next chapter is called 'Dumbledore's Speech.' and one more thing, REVIEW! Press that blue button now!

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	2. Dumbledore's Speech

                     Hogwarts School of Detectives

                                           (Part II)

**Warnings:** Peeves torture, possible violence, mega humor, umm, lots of made up items and pranks from Fred and George and some OC's.

**Disclaimer:** I own not anything mentioned here except Sukura, Nochi, and Riku. (I gave him that name because Sora is now my favorite name, and I don't want to get burned out on it, and I can't call him Derrick because that might make it sound OOC) I own only Weasley's Wacky Wizpopping Wax.

**Description: **If you want a description, go to Part I. Let's just say, it takes a surprising twist. 

(A/N)

Derrick: *Covered in bruises* Aw man, I would have to be in the fic.

Cat: Yep, I need 3 people + Fred and George to play pranks. You're just emergency backup. 

Jin: Yep, andIcomei- *Is cut back by the pain of The Evil Frying Pan of Doom hitting his head*

Cat: Now on with the fic already!

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"Shinobi, Touya."

Touya sat down on the stool, as Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting hat on his head.

The hat sat there for awhile, before shouting, "_RAVENCLAW!_" Touya sat down as far away from Kurama as possible, ignoring the stunned, open-mouthed stares of Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and even Hiei.

Professor McGonagall looked down at the parchment in her hands with a scowl, before saying, "And finally, Shinobi, Jin."

Yusuke and the others were far to stunned to do anything. Nonetheless, Jin sat down on the stool, looking completely ridiculous in his black Hogwarts robes, long hair, horn, pointy ears, and a fanged excited smile. He looked at McGonagall and said. "See? Meearsareallwiggin'andpointywhichusuallymeanssomethingsexcitin'sgoin'on!" 

"I see." Professor McGonagall said simply, before placing the hat on Jin's head.

It almost immediately shouted, "_HUFFLEPUFF!_" The Hufflepuff table was too stunned to do anything. I mean, how often do you see a guy with fangs, horns, and horribly windblown hair? (No offense to Jin, he is one of my favorite YYH characters)

After Jin sat down, Albus Dumbledore stood up, beaming, and said, "Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Teak! Thank you." 

Everyone cheered, And Yusuke, Kurama, Touya, Jin burst out laughing. Hiei just said his famous "Hn." under his breath. They had all figured out that Dumbledore had probably sent Jin and Touya letters as well, being demons.

They were far too busy literally inhaling the food that had appeared out of nowhere to question Jin and Touya. They being Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Hiei; Touya and Kurama were eating with control. Jin wasn't exactly eating with the manners that would make a woman from Quebec happy either. 

After they had stuffed their faces, Dumbledore rose. The Great Hall immediately became quiet.

Dumbledore spoke. "Ahem, just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. "First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." His eye scanned a pair of red-haired twins, who guessing from Dumbledore's glance and Ron's talking about his twin brothers, were Fred and George.

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to anyone to does not wish to die a very painful death."

During the silence that followed, Yusuke nudged Kuwabara. 

"Hey, baka, what does he mean by, 'this year?' Is it always off limits?"  
  


Kuwabara shook his head. "Nah, it wasn't off-limits last year. They probably are planning some new thing in the Department of Mysteries."

Yusuke nodded, having read all about The Ministry of Magic in 'A History of Magic' while he was studying. Which is very rare, but, Wizardry seemed exciting enough to study for, he didn't want to be laughingstock on his first day if one of the teachers assigned a pop quiz. 

Dumbledore rose. This must mean something important, because even Draco and Hiei stopped talking. They must have been talking about something with blood, screaming, and dying, because Hiei looked interested.

Dumbledore spoke. "I have one more important announcement to make. Would Yusuke Urameshi, Suuichi Minamino, Hiei Jaganshi, Jin, and Touya, please stand at the front of the room."

Yusuke got up and walked over to where the Hat was, followed by Kurama, Hiei, Jin, and Touya. All were betting Dumbledore was about to explain why 14 and 15 year-old students were in their first year.

Dumbledore spoke, "I am pleased to announce that we have some new students from Japan. They are apparitions." He paused. And then looked at Draco, who had raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy."

 "What the @$*X*$$# is an apparition?" He was obviously trying to be cool, but, instead, the whole Hall burst into a chant of, 'Send him to Azkaban.'

Dumbledore said something, it was impossible to tell what over the chanting, but everyone was quiet.

"An apparition is a demon that is not evil."

Everyone looked appalled. The girl who Yusuke had seen talking to Kurama actually fainted. One girl wailed, "MY DREAM BOYFRIEND IS A DEMON!"

Dumbledore continued on, as it seemed only Kurama's 'fans' were still shocked. "They are friends of Kuwabara, and Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei save us from the not-so-good demons.

"Also, Suuichi's mother would like to inform us that Suuichi's demon name is Kurama, but would appreciate it if you called him Suuichi."

Dumbledore paused again, giving the students time to register this information. Touya said something to Kurama, while Jin looked around. Dumbledore spoke again.

"If you have any questions please ask me later. Time for bed, off you go."

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Cat: I _ALWAYS do cliffhangers. In the next chapter, you'll meet my OC's, and, it has a lot of Jin and Touya in it. Oh, and tell me who you think in your mind looks best in Hogwarts robes. It's rather tough to picture…_

Derrick: I'm in the next chapter, I play a prank on Yusuke!

Jin: Yeahthisficisgettingexciting! Ihopeyaupdatesoon! (Translation: Yeah, this fic is getting exciting! I hope ya update soon!)

Touya: I heard I play a prank on Kurama in a couple chapters.  Hmm, I hope I don't get pranked, because if I do… (Plays video of him using Shards of Winter)

Cat: I dunno. ENOUGH SPOILERS! Sorry the last chapter was so agonizingly long. Well, press that blue button and review! Oh, and will someone with a million obsessions read my other fic called, "Completely Pointless Fanfic.' But only if you watch DBZ, Cyborg 009, play Kingdom Hearts, and watch YYH. Before you review, I'd like to thank my reviewers! (Especially those who have my fic on their favorites list!)

Aku-Hitokiri-Kistune: Yes, Hiei and Draco are friends, and, I updated quickly. This must be your lucky fic!

Evil Towel: I love that name… Evil Towel, thanks for the tips, but, it is kinda confusing.

Mom: (Mothers…) Thanks, I'm glad you like it, but Moms always like their child's work. (Even if it stinks)

Lcampbell947: I'm glad you like it! I hope you'll write some good fics!

Shadow: Wow… I never knew people liked it so much. But you'd better not b lying. Thanks for the review!

Sheik83: Well, I updated a lot sooner than I expected. Thanks very much for the review! I like reviews that have good length. I hope you checked today! Thanks to you I was able to fix this fic up! *Gives Sheik83 the 'Reviewer of the Chapter' crown*

DRUNKEN-IRISH-SMURF: Oh, go dunk your head in a toilet. I can cross barf with sugar if I wanted. Good luck flaming back!

Now, press that button! Wait, I already said that…


	3. Peeves the Prankster

                          **Hogwarts****School**** of Detectives Chap 3**

**                                        Night Pranks**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, or Yu Yu Hakusho. I own only Sukura (Me)** Nochi, (Could be either one of my best friends) Riku,** (**Derrick****) Weasley's Wacky Wizpopping Wax, and some other stuff.**

**Warnings:** Same as last chapter.

Cat: I hope you enjoy the 3rd chapter! I am still doing my "Who looks best out of Touya, Jin, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama in Hogwarts robes survey. Remember, you must picture it, and do not laugh as you could break your keyboard if you're drinking soda!

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"If you have any questions please ask me later. Time for bed, off you go."

(AN: For my own personal reasons, I did not have them do the Hogwarts Theme Song)

Yusuke got up, and followed Percy, the prefect, as did every other first year Gryffindor, out of the Great Hall, up a staircase, and past a talking portrait. Normally, Yusuke would have flipped out, but, he had seen pretty much everything, so it didn't surprise him that much. They past _many more portraits, and all of the people in them pointed at poor Harry._

They went through 2 hidden passageways, and Yusuke was losing track of how many staircases they had gone up.

They were going up the 10th or so staircase, when suddenly, Percy fell flat on his face, and a bucket of a gooey white substance poured all over his head. 

"What was that?" Harry asked.

"_Peeves_." Percy replied with his teeth gritted in anger. "He's the poltergeist. You have to watch out for him, and his pranks." Percy turned to his left. "Show yourself, or I'll contact the Baron, I mean it!"

A short ghost-like man with beady dark eyes, and a mouth to big for his face appeared.

"Oooooooh! Ickle Firsties! What fun!"

"You know, maybe you should consider… SHUTING UP!" Yusuke yelled.

Peeves turned to Yusuke. "Oh my, now what do we have here?" He said as he cackled evilly. "Aren't you a bit old to be a whittle firstie? Or did you stay back a few times?" He turned his head as though examining Yusuke. 

"SHUT UP!" Yusuke yelled. 

Peeves grinned as he swept away.

Percy turned to Yusuke and Harry. "You have to watch out for him, and his pranks. The Bloody Baron seems to be the only one he'll listen to. He won't obey even us prefects."

He removed a glob of the white stuff from his hair. "_Accio Vile!" A test vile came zooming into Percy's hand. He dumped a bit of the white stuff into the vile._

"Hermione, would you mind taking this to Professor McGonagall? If this is a terrible chemical, that Peeves will be expelled." 

Hermione nodded, and took the stuff before walking back down.

After this staircase, they entered a corridor and proceeded to the end, where the portrait of a fat woman in a pink dress hung.

"Password."

Yusuke and Harry both jumped a mile and a half. Yusuke had expected Percy to open a secret passageway.

"Caput Draconis." Percy replied. The portrait swung open, and everyone scrambled through it. Yusuke was far too tired to see what his surroundings looked like. He could just make out some furniture and a fireplace. Percy told the boys to wait, while he lead the girls up some stairs, and into their dormitories. Yusuke nearly fell asleep standing up.

"Come on," Percy said as they walked up to the boys' dormitories. "the sooner we get there, the sooner I can wash this stuff out."

He lead 4 boys into a room. That left only Yusuke and Harry. Percy lead them up the tower a bit further, and they turned to face a door. Percy opened it and the two first years walked in.

Yusuke walked in, and climbed onto his four-poster bed. He pulled together the scarlet curtains, eager to find out were the heck he was, in the morning.

"G'night Harry." Yusuke called.

"'Night." Came Harry's reply.

"'Night Yusuke." Yusuke heard Kurama say.

He was too tired to ask. 

~~~

"Hey, bonehead, you think you could keep it quiet?"

"Yeah, ok, pass the mascara. And I need more pink lipstick."

"Ok, wait 'till the others see him!"

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Ok, this chapter STINKS! But, I have a cold, and it's fumbling with my brain. So, now to thank my reviewers.

Everqueen: (1) Yes, Kuwabara will be smacked around much more!

Evil Towel: (2) I think I get it. *Destroys the "Review Thing"*

Koorihana: Darn, and I said this chapter would have a lot of Jin and Touya in it. **IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING: The next chapter will be basically nothing but Jin and Touya. I might even make it from their POV!**

serpentnight: (2) Well, here's the update. Glad you like it!

Sheik83: (1) Ah, there's nothing better than an honest review. You're a very good reviewer. I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic! Yes, it takes place during the Sorcerer's Stone.

TheLostDuck: (2) Yeah, this fic will be a little funnier next chapter. Yusuke stuffs an apple in Kuwabara's mouth. There's another funny thing too. 

purplepeopleeater: (1) That was put in there for humor purposes. If you didn't like it, I can take it out.

Aku-Hitokiri-Kistune: (2) Well, the updates are coming in, I'll try for every other day. I wish I could _see _my reviewers…

Everqueen: (2) Why don't you have a bio? I've wanted to ask that since I first read your fic. Sorry if it creeps you out, but, the two of them will_ be friends. Yeah, Jin's pretty funny._

Kikyou the Kistune: Yay! One vote for Hiei! Of course I'll keep writing, no matter what!

Lcampbell947: What can I say?

~~~

Derrick: Yay! I pranked Yusuke!

Cat: So did I!

Cat: The next chapter is called: An Anything But Normal Breakfast!

Derrick: Now press the button!

Cat: That's _my _line! 

 


	4. An Anything but Normal Breakfast part I

Hogwarts School of Detectives

Chapter 4: An Anything but Normal Breakfast

~~~  
  
Cat: HI! Cat here! I am proud to announce the following reviewer's ideas have been chosen!

AyukaRyou

mars explorer (Thanks a bunch!)

Hedi Dracona

JCKIDSMART

darkness flame youkai

Koorihana

Sarah aka Celebi

Yami Kistune no Kaze

Thanks! Your feedback is on the bottom, as well as the other reviewers! Sorry about the note, but now it's gone!

Anyways, here's the chapter.

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"SHUT UP!" Hiei yelled at Jin around 2:00 in the morning, waking up everybody in Gryffindor Tower, except Touya, who was already awake.

"WhadidIdo!?" Jin shouted back, clearly not in the mood to be woken up for no reason.

"Hn. You snore like a car." 

Jin tried to "Hn" back at Hiei, but it sounded like a sneeze, and cracked himself up.

Hiei growled in annoyance as he paced toward the window and jumped out. His bed was pretty uncomfortable anyway. 

Jin yawned innocently and went back to sleep.

Touya muttered something about D-Snore and finally went to sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next morning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yusuke opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was emerald green eyes staring at him.

"What time is it, Kurama?"

"I don't know." Kurama laughed as he ran a hand through his hair. What was so funny?

Yusuke took his time to look around the room. Next to his bed was a small nightstand, and a window. Underneath the window were his supplies. On the other side of the bed was Harry's bed. Kurama's next to the window, and one with the drapes closed next to Kurama's. Everyone had a window, two in Harry's case. So where in the Nigenkai where Jin, Touya, Kuwabara and Hiei?  (That paragraph was CRAP!)

Kurama burst out laughing as he looked at Yusuke again. Harry cast him a glance and he too burst out laughing. 

It took one glance at his reflection in the window to answer Yusuke's question.

"WHAT THE @!%$(&*($&! who the *_#&(%(*w_! DID THIS!?"

Yusuke ran into the door on the wall next to Harry's area, hoping it was a bathroom.

It was.  Yusuke could have washed the makeup off without anyone else knowing, if Jin hadn't chosen that moment to show up. 

Jin pushed through the scarlet curtain that separated him, Touya, and Hiei from the others and casually walked to the door on the opposite wall.

Jin immediately cracked up. Tears formed in the Wind Master's eyes as he fell on the ground laughing.

"Manthisisashowtoogoodtokeeptoourselves!" (Translation: "Man, this is a show too good to keep to ourselves!" Jin struggled to hold back laughter as he yelled, "HEY! URIMESHI'SGOTGIRLYSTUFFONHISFACE!" 

"It's called 'makeup.'" Kurama corrected.

"IMEANMAKEUP!" 

Before Yusuke could wash the makeup off, there was a stampede off people trampling up the stairs.

The first to fly through the door was one of Ron's twin brothers, Fred or George. (Telling them apart was impossible) Next, the second twin. Followed by Percy Weasley. After them came a sandy-haired first year in Ron's dormitory, then another rather, overweight, first year_. Next came an African first-year, then a 7th year, and, after the room had been completely full, a female 5th year came pushing through the crowd. How she got in was beyond anyone. This all happened in about 20 seconds._

Yusuke's face turned scarlet.

Kuwabara jumped (Literally) out of his bed and _laughed. Everyone else did the same. _

Suddenly, the girl turned 14 shades of red and fainted. Perhaps she had noticed Kurama… in his boxers. (Fangirls: ***DRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL*)**

Eventually, Percy managed to get everyone under control while he called in Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, to take Miss Makado to the hospital wing. Touya managed to find a couple second years hiding under Kurama's bed. Nochi and Riku were given detentions.

Cat: Continue 2 part 2 of this chapter! Sorry, feedback will be on next chapter! I'm working on part 2 as we speak! DAMN TRIPLE SPACING! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…


	5. An Anything but Normal Breakfast part 2

                       Hogwarts School of Detectives

An Anything but Normal Breakfast: Part II

Cat: Yeah! An update!  
  


Touya: Cat also has a message to zyless and Yami Kistune no Kaze.

Note to Yami Kistune no Kaze and zyless: First off, no offense. But, THANKS TO THE SELECTMENT OF WORDS YOU CHOOSE, MY STUPID INTERNET BLOCKING PROGRAM ASSUMED THAT MY REVIEWS WERE SOME VERY NASTY SITE, AND BLOCKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

**Note to Joel**: I think you missed my sentence: 'Jin pushed through the scarlet curtain that separated him, Touya, and Hiei from the others and casually walked to the door on the opposite side.' (The others being Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara. And I think it's pretty obvious why they're all staying in Gryffindor tower with Harry. (Hint: 'With Harry.') 

And I found out the weirdest thing. Before I posted this fic, I thought that it would be cool have Hiei and Draco be friends. But I forgot to put it in the first chapter (At least I think I did). And then Aku Hitokiri Kistune said they should be friends! Is that weird or what?

Cat: Enough of my endless rambling, now on with the fic!

Reviewers: YAY!

Derrick: I was wondering when she'd shut up! OW!

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Yusuke came out of the common room, followed by Jin, who was boring the others out of their minds by talking about the makeup thing. They were going down late, due to the fact that the makeup took nearly 20 minutes to wash off.

As they walked down a staircase, Touya seemed to be staring into space. He had forgotten to put his robes on, went back to get them, and forgot why he was in his dormitory. And the others had lost track of how many times he had crashed into a wall, or tripped on a stair. Yusuke stopped and turned to Touya. 

"Hey Touya, could you please snap out of it? You're going to be in a body cast before we get to the Great Hall!"

"Hmm? Oh right." Touya glanced at his shoes. That dream, he just couldn't get it out of his head.

_~.~.~.~_

_Touya was walking down an extremely black corridor, lit by two flame torches. His footsteps echoed on the wet stone. As he walked further, the light faded completely. His pace quickened, panic was rising within him. The corridor never ended, it turned, but there was no light ahead. _

_Touya turned and ran the other way. He collided with cold stone. The path was closing in behind him, there was no escape. He was trapped.   
  
Touya used every ounce of power he had, using ice and spirit blasts until his energy ran out. The wall didn't even crack. _

_His physical power was even weaker; he punched until his knuckles bled. _

_With nothing left to do, Touya got up and ran again. He was wiped out, he could barely go on. But he kept going; he had to get out of here. But there was no end, only two bright yellow eyes staring straight through him, and an earsplitting scream._

_~.~.~.~_

It took Touya a couple seconds to realize he'd fallen down a staircase. Jin was laughing like a maniac behind him.

"GeezumTouyadidyousleeplastnight?"  

Touya was about to answer, but decided to keep quiet. That scream… it sounded so familiar…

"Beware Touya, for soon your dreams will become reality, hmm, well, for the most part…"

(AN: Sorry it was so corny, but I was desperate to have more of Jin and Touya in it. Can it be? Am I bringing in a villain already?) 

Last night, it had felt like ten staircases, but, there were about half as many on the way to the Great Hall. 

The Great Hall was as big and bright as ever. Jin accidentally sat at the Gryffindor table, but McGonagall, with her sharp eyes, saw him and sent him to his table. The food magically appeared as it did last night.

Jin grabbed some breakfast food. After consuming half the food on the plate, Jin rested his elbow on the edge of the plate. _Mis-_TAKE!  The plate flipped up and hit him in the face, as well as the contents. 

Jin quickly swiped off the eggs and what-not from his face, robes, and hair. It was pretty obvious what had happened, and half of Hogwarts was laughing at him.

"Well Jin, I think it suites you." 

Jin hurled a glob of kidney pudding at Touya; the disgusting substance hit the Ravenclaw in the face.

Touya removed the pudding from his face with one swift swipe. Angered and mildly embarrassed, he threw a (very) small iceball at Jin. 

Jin deflected it, sending it flying at…

The school gasped as the iceball hit Malfoy, causing a huge sheet of ice to form on the front of his robes.

"COLD!" Malfoy screamed as he did a weird dance around the Great Hall. The students' worry turned to laughter. Sighing, Madam Pomfrey grabbed him by the arm and guided him to the hospital wing, just to make sure he didn't get frost bitten.

Jin return his attention to Touya, prepared to get even with the ice demon. He grabbed some fried chitlins and threw them at Touya. Touya dodged it, and they hit a Ravenclaw second year.

Pretty soon more than 5 people were involved in the 'food fight.' Suddenly, a Slytherin yelled, "FOOD FIGHT!" And it was final.

Food flew everywhere. Yusuke poured coffee on Kuwabara's head, while, Kuwabara threw a piece of french toast at Hiei, who finally decided to show up. 

Hiei, who had no nose for nonsense, threw a fire ball at Kuwabara, who dodged it, and it winded up burning down a wall, revealing an (empty) lavatory. Though, hardly anyone noticed.

The staff and prefects had given up. When Professor McGonagall threatened to give everyone a detention; (AN: Kinda hard to give an entire school detention) she got hit in the face with oatmeal. Finally, Percy motioned for the others to listen to his plan. Snape's lip curled and his eyes narrowed, but he nodded.

3 seconds later…

**_"QUIET!" _**The staff (Excluding Dumbledore) yelled in usion. The Hall instantly fell silent. Kuwabara stopped rubbing bacon fat into Yusuke's hair, and Yusuke stopped shoving an apple into Kuwabara's mouth. The volume of the yell had everyone's ears ringing, especially poor Kurama's, who had been reduced to huddling in a corner to avoid.

McGonagall put her hands on her hips, and scowled, her eyes resting on the Weasley twins, who were still flicking eggs at people. (AN: You can tell that they're used to this kind of thing) "If you're quite through, you can proceed to your classes." She turned on her heels and left the Great Hall.

Everyone left the Hall in silence.

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Score: Hiei: 2 Kurama: 1 (I voted too)

Long awaited feedback! You may have more than 1 message, so read all of them!

Hogwarts, A History Girl:  I don't know what you mean, but thanks for the review!

Aku-Hitokiri-Kistune:  Yes, pretty soon I might put a conversation between them. No promises, though.

Koorihana:  Hard to believe, isn't it?

Hedi Dracona: Glad you like it. Maybe I'll have some more pranks, despite Writer's Block. 

Crimson Fire Kistune: Glad you like it.

Sarah aka Celebi: I hope it was funny enough.

Dragon Scythe: Really? I thought it was blue. Triple spacing is annoying, but I put up with it.

Yami Kistune no Kaze: (BTW, you best hope you didn't mean anything by, 'You sound fun.') Thanx for your review! That was one of the best! Glad you like Kurama. That'd be cool if you could do that. I'll post my e-mail when my mother gets around to getting me one.

Koorihana: Thanx for the review! Hope you liked the ice ball thing!

a: I did! but it was pretty crappy.

kuroi ryuu: I did. 

Zyless: I thought your review was kind of funny, but please, clean up your language.

JCKIDSMART: I actually updated!

Snowmaster108: *Blink*

Hedi Dracona: Hope you liked the food fight!

mars explorer: I used both of your ideas!

AyukaRyou: Well, it happened!

Dragon Scythe: New chapter it is. *Sigh*

Petals and Thorns: That would've been funny! 

J.T. : I wonder what they would look like if that happened.

Eric: Maybe I'll have Yusuke do his trademark attack in the next chapter.

TheLostDuck: Heheh, I thought the makeup thing was funny…

Ryuu no Furui Yami: Sure! Just review with one. Thanks for the review!

Amber Komasaki: How's the fic goin'? Glad you like this fic!

Joel: W@W! My eyes nearly popped out of my head! 9.75 out of 10! *Hyperventilate* Yes, I agree Jin talks too fast.

Name is too long: Glad you like it! I'll update soon, too!

Bakagami101: Well, here it is!

Luna: I updated, surprising as it is.

Sorry if I sounded offensive, but I was getting tired of feedback. I don't know many breakfast foods, so sorry if I was inaccurate. Sorry! I'm only 11! Mentally 13! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY sorry for the late update! *Dodges food* Happy Valentines Day! And Derrick, if you're reading this, don't say anything that you'll regret.

**__**


	6. 5 An Interesting First Day

Hogwarts School of Detectives

Chapter 5: An Interesting First Day

Dee-sklim-mar: I do not own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho. If I did, I'd be lying on the beach right now.

Cat: Yes, I'd love to give feedback but there's no time! I have to update!! Uchida, where are you? Come on, review! Even if it takes 20 years!

~*~*~*~*~

"HavingtroubleUrameshi?"

"No." Yusuke replied coolly, stuffing his necessary items into a bag..

"Yusuke now may not be a good time to mention this, but, aren't you surprised to know you're a demon?" Kurama asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Not really." 

"And what about Koenma, don't you think it's kind of strange that he never said anything about this?"

"Yeah, that is kinda weird. And what about Kuwabaka? How does he staying school all year while still going here? Sure, he was absent a lot, but still…"

Yusuke walked to his next class, which according to his schedule, was…

~*~*~*

Yusuke ran through the hallway, while the talking portraits yelled bogus directions to confuse him. There was murmured conversation about Harry. Yusuke didn't see what the big deal was. A spirit had probably protected him from death. All this attention was traumatizing the poor kid.

Kuwabara had warned him about moving and changing staircases that seemed to have personalities. And, there was one with a disappearing step. And, some portraits liked to be obnoxious. And, some of them where picky about letting people in. That was what Kuwabara had said.  

Harry walked beside Yusuke, talking about Ron, but Yusuke wasn't listening. Suddenly, Peeves appeared in front of him, grabbed his nose, and yelled, "GOT YOUR CONK!" Followed by scream of pain from Harry. (Yes, I copied all the above out of the book, kill me) Peeves cackled evilly, then disappeared, while Harry rubbed his nose. Eventually, Harry split to follow Ron. Yusuke walked alone, hearing the sounds of shouting in the distance. Sounded like Harry got in trouble. His first class was Transfiguration. 

Professor McGonagall began the class, Yusuke's first class ever in Hogwarts, by droning on about what will happen to troublemakers. Harry was late, but, he was lucky. 

Professor McGonagall was head of Gryffindor house, but, she didn't seem to treat them any differently. If she did, Yusuke hated to think about how long her speeches must be in other houses. 

Transfiguration was boring. It was as, Yusuke expected, mostly introductions. The only fun thing was turning a match into a needle. He overheard Ron saying his brothers had set fire to the room when they were given their matches a couple years ago. 

Yusuke's match had changed a little, it was a bit thinner, and, the tips were a little pointy, but, his work was ignored. Mainly, because everyone was looking at Hermione's perfect needle.

~~~  
In Hallway

~~~

Yusuke and Harry were walking side-by-side, and Harry was talking about how he got lost and went into the forbidden room. Or, at least tried, and nearly got thrown into a dungeon.

The next class was History of Magic, which, was, very few introductions, and, lots of this; "Blahblahblah…" Yusuke traded notes with Harry. The two of them had sort of become friends. It was during this class, Yusuke saw a feature he had never seen on Harry before. A thin, lightning shaped scar on his forehead. Yusuke almost stood up and said, "What is THAT!?" But that would be way too immature, so he just asked Harry in a note. Harry said it was the scar he had gotten when he was attacked by Voldemort. (Odd name) 

The rest of the day was relatively boring. They were to have different schedules every day. The only weird thing was, the smell coming from Professor Quirrel, the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher's turban. Yusuke turned out to be pretty good at putting up with the smell, but, he stunk in this class. And, in Charms, during role call, when Professor Flitwick came to Harry's name, he toppeled right of the pile of books he was standing on. 

~~~  
In dormitory

~~~

  
Ever since the 'Food Fight' everyone in the Great Hall seemed to be sneaking mini food fights here and there, like:

Tom throws potatoes at Jim.

Jim throws chicken at Tom.

Then they stop and continue eating. (What a terrible example!)

Kurama was writing in his journal, and Hiei was out and about, sneaking around in the dungeons. Kuwabara was doing what little homework he had. Yusuke had even less homework than Kuwabara.

Yusuke couldn't help but think everything was strange. Kurama was right, he hadn't known he was a demon, and, Koenma hadn't said anything. Strange…

Yusuke was interrupted by a wildly grinning face.

"GuesswhatUrameshi,McGonagallsaidI'materriblewizard. That'snotverynicenowisit?"

"Whatever Jin. Hey, Touya, I have Herbology tomorrow, couldja tell me what we have to do?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing, just introductions. And we have to test the fertility of soil."

Yusuke's eyes narrowed. Something wasn't right. And why was he in a room with his fellow Detectives? And Harry and Kuwabara…

Harry came through the door. 

"Yusuke."

"Hmm?" Yusuke looked up from his book he had just opened.

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you in her office."

_Great_. Yusuke thought. He got up and headed for McGonagalls office, knowing he'd get lost along the way a few times.

~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


Score: Hiei: 3 Kurama: 2

  
Cat: Great! A chapter is up! I will try to update as much as I can, now for feed back! Remember to vote for who you think looks best in Hogwarts robes!

Watakushiwaginnokitsuneaisuru: I had to paste your name. Yes, it is a question that has been troubling me. 

Princess Krystal01: Thanks for reviewing! Glad you love it!

Evil Reno: Grrr… Name change… My teachers say I spell very well, but my secret is Microsoft Word's Auto Correction thingy. Not a review of the fic, but thanks.

mars explorer: Definitely one of my better reviewers. What can I say, you had good ideas. Wow, lots of people love it.

Koorihana: A loyal reviewer as well. Hehehehehe, thanks for the review. *Thinks about Touya falling down a staircase*

Hikaru-009: Glad you thought it was fuuni.  More humor to come.

Rosewhip of the Darkness Flame: Good to hear from you Shinoru. GT is down, phooey. It's lavender. Yep, that's something Derrick would do. He might come on GT sometime. The only pranks I've ever played on him is massive amounts of Kick Me signs and putting tape on his chair. 

bounyhunter: Will do.

SailorSakura: That last sentence affected me deeply. I will try to update as soon as I can now.

JJ: You'll find out soon enough. Like, the next chapter.

fuz: Yeah, Touya's pretty cool.

Cat: Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter! New poll:

What funny thing should happen next?

1. Peeves stuffs a full trash can over Yusuke's head.

2. Kurama gets in an uncomfortable position when he is accused of going out with someone's girlfriend.

3. Yusuke shoots a talking portrait with his sprit gun.

You are welcome to submit ideas as well.


	7. An explanation

Hogwarts School of Detectives

Chapter 6

Dee-sklim-mar: Waddeva.

Notes: Well, the plot should unfold soon. Yawn... Perhaps the next chapter.

* * *

Yusuke sat in a leather chair in Professor McGonagall's office. His hands were behind his head, and his feet propped up on the desk.   
  
"Would you _please _refrain from putting your _filthy _shoes on my desk. I just washed it."

Yusuke turned around, startled. Professor McGonagall had returned. Hands on her hips, she spoke in a soft voice, not a dangerous one though.

"I know you have a few questions, I hope they will be answered. The other will be here in a moment. Until then, would you like a strawberry tart?"

"Yeah, sure." Yusuke took a piece of the edge of the platter, and nibbled on it, thinking of who these "others" were.

He didn't have to wait long.

The door opened as young Koenma stepped in. "Hello Yusuke. Long time no see."

"KOENMA!!!!" Yusuke screamed, spraying everyone with strawberry tart. (Yes, screamed)

"No need to freak out Yusuke." Koenma said calmly, wiping chewed tart from his hat.

"Sorry. Why are here?"

"That Yusuke, should be obvious."

In the next few minutes, Dumbledore and his fellow detective team walked in.

Dumbledore took a seat across from Yusuke. He folded his hands formally, and stared straight at Yusuke.

_Man, those are some creepy eyes. No wonder they made him Headmaster._

"Welcome Yusuke. I find it a great honor to welcome you personally."

"Yeah, whatever old man." Yusuke mentally kicked himself. He could tell by McGonagall's glare that that was no way to speak to the Headmaster.

But Dumbledore merely smiled kindly.

"I suppose you know why you are here. And if not, then I will tell you we are here to answer questions we know have been bothering you." Professor McGonagall's voice was tight, like she wanted to raise it.

Dumbledore nodded to Kuwabara. "I suppose you would like to explain first."

"Okay, uh, well, ya see. I've been going to school in all year, and coming here too, using this thing called a time-turner. It allows you to reverse time." Kuwabara glanced around stupidly, and Yusuke really wished he could smack him silly.

"Okay, is that it?"

"Most certainly not! You are also most likely wondering why Mr. Koenma never told you anything about this. Well, that is because he didn't know. We had no idea who to tell and what with the confusion of the new term, we flat out forgot." She paused, giving Yusuke and the others a moment to take this in.

"It's alright. Just try to remember. You had me scared for a moment." Kurama chuckled softly as he said this.

"I see. Well then, another thing to explain. As you know, you are rooming with a very special young boy. Mr. Potter is quite famous. The _Avada Kedavra_ is a very powerful spell. It kills not by your body; it kills your soul directly. We know how, but Harry doesn't. Yet. He-who-must-not-be-named also has not a clue. He has been weakened from that day many years ago, and for all any of us know, could still be alive. Undoubtedly, he will be stalking Harry. He wants to finish the job." Professor McGonagall stopped again, looking around the room, watching everyone's expressions, and continued.

"We knew you possessed powers and strength to do amazing things. We know you have tremendous power. And so, what with both you and Harry arriving this year, we thought it would be of a great convenience to room with Harry, to watch over him." Dumbledore said calmly. He was always calm, it puzzled everyone. Those blue eyes held calmness, and unspeakable wisdom.

This was all answered with a "Hn. So were baby-sitting _again_?" Hiei asked, glancing at Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"HEY!" Yusuke and Kuwabara answered at the same time. Kurama chuckled to himself.

"Now _children_," Koenma warned. When everyone shut up, he spoke. "Well, when I finally DID find out about this mess, I also saw a couple good conveniences. I would prefer it if you used your spirit energy alone, but in some cases, you might find it easier to use magic. But, there is another problem that I think you already know."

"Yeah yeah, having a case of the demons in the middle of a class."

"Right on Yusuke." Koenma cleared his throat, and for a moment, Yusuke feared we would start yacking 'til kingdom come. "We have decided the fate of the world is far more important than classes, so, feel free to ditch a class if there's a case. But in the rare event of an emergency, in which you cannot come, we are training a couple people to help. But, they are only 2 people."

"Who?" Kuwabara asked. To be honest, he was a bit envious of these 'people'.

"Well, I'm going to tell Hiei in private, I'd hate to have him freak out in the building-"

There was no need to say any more. They all knew who it was.

"YOUR LETTING MY SISTER FIGHT THOSE FEROCIOUS MONSTERS!?" Hiei roared. Without another word, he gave Koenma a very inappropriate finger gesture, and jumped out of the window.

"Well, that went better than I thought. I expected him to blow up cussing all over the place."

"Uh, Koenma, he gave you the _finger_." Yusuke pointed out.

"But he didn't blow up cussing all over the place." Koenma replied.

"I wonder who this sister of his is." Kuwabara thought about this for a moment, only to be interrupted by Koenma.

"Now, let's get back on topic. This other girl, Shin, she has some history with Kurama. Not big-big history, but enough history for her to remember him. She seems to be an okay warrior, so, she'll do just fine. But, I doubt we'll need to use then with you. And I bet Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall are sick of sitting pretty. So, anything you want to say?"

"Nope, that will be all."

"Alright then, you may get to bed. Professor, will you escort them?"

"Of course, Headmaster."

"Hey, where are Jin and Touya?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"They already know."

* * *

Well, there's another chapter! I'll have the Peeves/portrait shooting thing in the next chapter!  
  
Feedback:

mars explorer: Okay!

chelsea: Exactly what's going to happen!

XJ9: I'm trying to put more of him in the next chapter. :D

sillyningengirl: Yep, Peeves and the portrait are as good as shot.

Shadowkistune: Oh my!

inuchan46: I think they will discuss that. :P

Koorihana: Thanks for reviewing! You'll see why in the next chapter!

rinkurocks: Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

..: Okay.

Sarah and Midnight: Comin' up next chappie!

fluffyness: Heheh, the portrait must be shot!

iceybincer: Heheh, din't scare me!

nut job: Thanks a bunch! I think it came out well, except I named the cat Froth. :(

crawfish109: lol, sorry! Please forgive me!

Joel: It's okay. Thank you! I need the fic-lovers!

Jckidsmart: Okay, just wait till' the next chapter! ;)

kitsune klepto: Thank you!

all yaoi writers must die: Okay, we'll definitely have a reaction!


	8. I WILL KILL YOU PEEVES!

**Hogwarts School of Defectives…er, Detectives**

**Rating: **PG

**Disclaimer: **Hey, do I look like a billionaire?

**Notes: **I am SO sorry! It has been FOREVER! You all must HATE me! I don't blame you!;; Well, on with the next chapter… I guess…

* * *

Yusuke awoke the next morning before the others. Kurama was sleeping peacefully, but looked rather disturbed in his sleep. Yusuke didn't blame him. He had lived a previous life of nightmares, false hopes, betrayal, and who knows what else. Yusuke moved his gaze to the sleeping Potter boy. He was probably lost in a dreamless sleep, unaware he was being stalked. Or was he? Yusuke walked over to the bathroom to wash up and get dressed. It was the 2nd week, and he was still getting lost. It was a bit early, but, he went outside the common room. He walked the halls. Surprised at the quietness, he looked around. Next thing he knew, a dungbomb was headed straight for him.

It was a good thing Yusuke had dodged, but, the portrait didn't. The "substance" covered the work of art. It just so happened to be the one who kept giving Yusuke false directions.

"Heh, guess that serves you right," Yusuke said.

"My goodness! This is a most rude awakening! You! Idiot boy! Clean me!"

_Twitch. _"'Idiot boy'?" Yusuke was getting ticked off again. He hated this portrait.

"Yes, why, most certainly, only an idiot would fall for false directions!

That was hitting below the belt to Yusuke. Before he knew what he hade done… "REI GUN!"

As the next few moments passed, Yusuke was glad to smell the scent of burning parchment. He grinned and turned to another portrait. "If any of you open your paint-holes, you'll be joining him." The ones that hadn't slept through the blast didn't argue. Just as Yusuke was about to turn and head back to the common room, he was bombarded by… Chocolate frog wrappers?

Peeves held the now-empty trash can over Yusuke, shaking it once more to get the extra "stuff" out. He had a devious grin on his face. "Looks good on you!"

If Yusuke was mad at the portrait before, you could just imagine his anger level now. "You. Just. Uttered. Your. Final. Words." Yusuke was about to bomb the living daylights out of Peeves, when he noticed the gleaming golden eyes of Filch's cat. Yusuke knew that look, that was no ordinary cat. He murmured a couple threatening words to Peeves, and ran down the corridors.

**Later….**

Angus Filch's lip curled at McGonagall's stubborn attitude.

"Really, Angus, why must you disturb me at this hour? It's 3 hours until I normally get up. What could possibly be so important?"

"I'm telling you! It's that little troublemaker! I could just tell he'd be a burden to this school! Him and his demon powers! How dare he disgrace this school. I say he hang him by his thumbs in the dungeons!"

McGonagall scowled as she rounded a corner at a slightly faster pace. "Perhaps I would acknowledge your opinions, if you would care to tell what you suppose Yusuke did?"

But McGonagall had just finished the sentence when she saw the sight before her. One of the portraits was burned strait through. The wall was charred. Of the frame and portrait there were no remains. Garbage littered the floor. The empty pail that had once contained it lay on the ground. Rather confused, McGonagall turned to Filch. "I highly doubt Yusuke was involved. It looks to me like someone set the portrait on fire, but that wouldn't explain the can."

"It was Peeves! I'll murder that bloody poltergeist!" Filch clenched his fists. McGonagall, tired and having enough of this for one morning, strode away without a word.

* * *

I know, it stinks now. I think I'm giving up on this fanfic. :( Yet I know a lot of people love it. That is why I might let a reviewer take over writing the next chapter. Most of you probably don't want to/don't care, but if anyone is interested, feel free to e-mail me. This was just a linking chapter. Something like that. Review Please!

-Cat


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